The Art Of Kissing

Kissing is so beautifully paradoxical; at once both incredibly simple and deliciously complicated. It's the first powerfully intimate act you engage in with that new special someone. Kissing is that "First Step", which implies it's a small, relatively easily attainable rung on the ladder. But, despite that implied availability, kissing is crucially important to an intimate sexual relationship. If there is a real simpatico between the lips of you and your lover, it's like nuclear fuel for your love life; just a little bit creates incredible heat. Kissing the one you love can also be a profoundly healing, even spiritual, endeavor. 

But, if, the two of you don't kiss well together, it's a problem. A Deal Breaker, even. And, come to think of it, that's what's best. Because if I don't like the way you kiss, and you don't like the way I kiss, it's best to cut our losses. Like, now. Because it's not fixable. 

That particular problem of mutually incompatible kissing has arisen in my romantic life once before. On some level, I knew it was doomed because of that from day one. Except we didn't cut our losses, because we had such the hots for each other, that, well, kissing got overlooked. Until it couldn't be overlooked. It's not the main reason why the relationship failed, but it certainly had something to do with it. Somewhere, in the recesses of my romantic subconscious, I knew the answer to the question, "Can I be with a woman who doesn't like how I kiss?", was a deafening, "No".

We learn to kiss on the fly. We learn to kiss by kissing. Which means we aren't very good at it in the beginning. I was especially wretched. I had a mouthful of metal and no confidence at seventeen, when I first made out with a girl in the backseat of my buddy's 1971 green Ford LTD. By that time, I had been aching for a lip press for about five fuckin' years. So when I finally got it, it meant something to me. It mattered. 

Kissing a girl had been an elusive Holy Grail for years. I had literally, dreamt about it. So I was determined that, once I got it, even though I may suck at first, I was gonna get good at it, quickly. I was gonna apply whatever instinctive tools I had. I was gonna practice, pay attention, and be really into it. I was gonna dig deep and I was gonna bring it, every time. Like Tom Brady, waiting for his chance to take the helm at quarterback, whenever I finally, achingly, engaged, it was All Systems Go At Maximum Warp. I was gonna be great at this.

Join me for part two. Like a great first kiss, this is just a tease......

©2017 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart LLC, and Red F Publishing. All rights reserved. 

Between You And The Wall

Should you ever find yourself up against The Wall

With your back pressed tightly against it

Feeling like you have nowhere to go

Feeling like you don't know what to do or where to turn

Feeling like there is no one who can help

I will put my strong and loving arms behind you

I will put my strong and loving arms around you

I will cradle your body 

I will cradle your soul

I will pull you towards me

I will meld myself to you and to your struggle

I will put myself 

Between You and The Wall

So that you may breathe

And in that breath

Take that first crucial step away from the edge

With me

You Will Be Safe

You Will Be Loved

You Will Be Okay

You Will Know

That I Have You

You Will Know

That We Are In This Together

No Matter What

We Will Move As One

Forwards

Sideways

Or maybe Straight Back

Right through that Fucking Wall

We will do

Whatever it takes

To get you out of there

That Is What Love Means To Me 

That Is What You

Mean To Me

- Clint Piatelli

Love's Up

Love relationships change our lives. Whether it’s an intimate sexual relationship, or an intimate non-sexual one, if there is love there, that love energy has the power to touch us, move us, shift us, change us, even turn us inside out.

With every love relationship I have, be it a friend or a lover, I go as deep as I can. I go as deep as the relationship allows, as deep as you allow; maybe I even push that envelope. I am open to exploring the depths of myself, the depths of you, and the depths of us. I will connect with you as deeply and as powerfully as this relationship allows. And each relationship is unique. Each one has its own shifting floors and ceilings. I want to be at the top and the bottom of that flow with you. I want to be riding that intimacy edge.

That sounds pretty intense, and it can be, but it doesn’t have to be. Riding that edge manifests itself in countless ways, unique to each relationship. What I bring is the energy and the desire for intimacy, for connection, for love. And then I go with what you give me, with what you want, and flow with the energy of whatever we create together.

The following quote is possibly the most beautiful and complete description of love I’ve ever come across. It mirrors my own feelings very sharply.

"I do not want to be lost in love; I desire to be found. Discovered and uncovered bit by glorious bit; mind, body, heart and soul revealed and revered in each facet. I long to have my paths wandered by an explorer on a deep journey of love who reveals in the sacred space experienced in each discovery of the divine. I do not want to be lost in love; I desire to surrender to it fully, a willing leap and not a stumbled fall."    ~Ara