Self Expression On The Playground of Life

       Self expression is a form of play. It is in fact a way to live your life more playfully. Adults often dismiss the importance of play. Conventional wisdom, an oxymoron is ever there was one, holds that play is for children; adults are about work. Work is so important to us, in fact, that many people define themselves by their job. They are what they do for a living.
       I challenge that paradigm. My question is “How’s that working for us?” Are most people happy with their job? Are most people fulfilled by their work? My experience is no. And if people define themselves by what they do, and they don’t like what they do, then they are, ipso facto, not very happy. At least not most of the day, while they are working.
       Don’t fall into the trap of defining yourself by your job. Even if you love it. You are so much more than what you do for a living.
       Regardless of your job or career, you can add joy and happiness and fun to your life by playing. And expressing yourself is playful.
       If you live more self expressively, your life takes on a playful quality. I’ll give you a simple but powerful example. I have a t-shirt with the symbol of The Flash on it. It’s bright and colorful. It says something. It makes a statement about what I like. So it’s expressive. I bet I get more play out of that shirt than the guy in the Georgio Armani suit. Unless that suit is in an expressive color. Like purple. In that case case, it’s a tie between the shirt and the suit. How do I know this? Because I have both. And I wear both. And I pay attention.
       I’m a bold person. I make bold statements, in many ways, about who I am. About what I am. My experience is that those who get me, really get me, And really love me because they get me so well. And those who don’t get me just don’t. But to those people who don’t get me, I would say this; “I’ll let you in closer if you want. I’ll reveal more of myself, if you’re up for it. If you want to get to know me better, I won’t hide just because you may end up not liking me.”
       I’m not suggesting you have to be like me. That’s not the point. I'm suggesting you be more you. Whoever that is. And I'm suggesting that when you are more self expressive, however that shows up for you, however you do it, you are more engaged in your life. When we risk self expression, we engage in a form of play that engages others. We connect to others. And the rub is that many of us do not care to engage. Do not care to connect. Or we are afraid of engaging and connecting. So we live less expressively.
       When we interact with people, the more we share about what we truly feel, what we truly think, what’s important to us, and who we truly are, the more self expressive we are being. The more we share, the more we self express. The more we connect. And there are many ways to share. There are countless ways to express yourself. Conversation is one way. The clothes you wear are another.
       Notice how guarded you are in conversation. With your lover. With close friends. With work associates. With strangers. I’m not suggesting you share your entire life with everybody on the planet. Unless you want to. What I’m offering is a consciousness about how open we are to showing who we really are and risking the consequences of being accepted or not.
       Try living more self expressively. Take those risks. Show more of yourself. It’s engaging. It’s fulfilling. It leads to connection. And it’s a fun way to live.


©2012 Clint Piatelli & Red F Publishing. Al Rights Reserved.  
   

Limb

I’m out here on a limb
I’ve never been out this far before
I’ve chosen to live out here
Because I know
For me to live any other way
Really isn’t living

Sometimes it feels lonely out here
But it’s the most beautiful
The most exciting
The juiciest place ever

I look back
And see where I used to be
It was so safe there
But I never felt safe
It can be so scary out here
But I feel safer out here
Than I ever did back there

I had a plan
First I would grow
Then after I had grown
I would live out here on a limb

But that’s not how it works

Life was happening
And some of it was passing me by
So I made myself start moving out on a limb
And I started growing the moment I started climbing out here

I had it backwards

I don’t grow so that I can live life out on a limb
I live life out on a limb so I can grow

And that has been the most wondrous discovery of my life
It’s given me the courage to stay out here
And live my entire life from a different place
Live My Life Out On A Limb


                                             - Clint Piatelli

©2012 Clint Piatelli & Red F Publishing. All Rights Reserved

Poetry Kicks Ass 2

Note: If you haven't already, you may want to first read Poetry Kicks Ass, my first post on the ins and outs of writing poetry for the one you love.   

       Okay. How the hell do you write poetry for the one you love? Follow me.
       The first thing you need is some alone time. So create some. Just you and whatever you’re writing with. A computer is no less sensitive to your outpourings than a pen and paper. It’s not a sterile tool. Use whatever works best for you. I use both a computer as well as the pen and paper.
       If you go the pad and paper route, buy a journal dedicated strictly to poetry. Choose a journal that has some gravitas to it. Get one with a hard cover, or even a leather cover, maybe with a design on it that attracts you. It should have archival quality paper. Don’t go with a ninety-nine cent spiral wire job from Office Max. Those are for high school chemistry class. This is poetry, damn it. It’s far more important that learning the molecular formula for Chromium sulfate (which is CrSO4 by the way).
       If you’re into color, like I am, buy a set of colored pencils or pens. The point is, your tools should inspire and excite you. Whatever they are. Set yourself up like this and you’ll be more inclined to write, more inclined to create.
       Find a place where you can let yourself feel without being distracted. That could be some quite place in your house, outside in the woods, or anywhere you feel safe and at peace.    
       It’s important to be inspired when you write poetry. And inspiration can hit you at any time, anywhere, if you are open to it. In addition to your dedicated poetry journal, I recommend carrying a smaller journal and a pen with you everywhere, so you can write whenever anything hits you. That whatever could be a word, or a phrase, or an idea, a sentence, or an entire poem. Whatever it is, get it down immediately. And run with it as long as you can, given the circumstances. Use what’s in this little pad as the raw material for some of your poems.
       I’ve been at meetings with, of all people, lawyers, and had ideas for writing. I can’t flesh them out right then and there, because I need to pay attention to a person I’m paying $300 and hour for. So I just jot down the word or phrase and do the best I can.
       Getting to our feelings proves difficult for many. But again, feelings are essential in writing emotive poetry. That’s another reason why it’s crucial to be able to jot something down when it hits you. Because if something hits you, it’s moving something inside of you. And you have to grab those moments when you can.
       Here are some ideas on how you can drop into your heart.
       I recommend the following: music and pictures. Audio visual. Music is a fabulous trigger for our emotions. Put on some music that moves you. Then look at pictures of your lover that move you, or pictures of the two of you together, while you’re listening to music that touches you. And that music can be anything from AC/DC to Beethoven. We aren’t going for specific feelings. We’re just going for feelings.
       Another powerful suggestion is to use scent to evoke emotion. Smell, in fact, is the most evocative of all our senses. When we smell something we’ve smelled before, and that smell was associated with a powerful emotion, we are more likely to experience that emotion again. It doesn’t have to be associated with your lover, but it can be. Let’s say you like the smell of evergreen trees. Well if you like them, there is a happy feeling associated with that. So go out in the woods and smell the pines with your iPod and your pictures and see what happens. Or light a candle with a scent that speaks to you (Yankee Candles are, in my extensive olfactory experience, the strongest, best smelling candles out there).
       If you like the way your lover smells (and you better, or your relationship is probably not going to work), then use something......anything.....that smells like her or him and literally inhale their scent as you write. You can ask your lover to wear something all day, the day before you plan to write, and then have him or her let you use that. You can ask them to wear something that day, and have them give it to you, fresh off of their bodies, just before you write. Or you can just go through their laundry and sniff the clothes, finding something that smells like her. I’ve done all three. It’s fun. All of it.
       So you’re alone. You’ve got the music going. You’ve got the pictures in front of you. You’ve got the candle going. You’ve got the shirt she wore that smells like her. It’s all going on. Now what? That’s next.

©2012 Clint Piatelli & Red F Publishing.