The First 48

       If my first few minutes at Kripalu could be described as “extremely memorable” (as they were in my first post about my experience there, A Virgin Of Kripalu), then my first few days there could be described as “extremely uncomfortable”. And that’s being kind. Absolutely internally tumultuous is more like it.
       I came there to plug into a different energy source; to go inside and reconnect to something deeper; to recharge my spiritual batteries; to get back in touch with what was happening in my body and in my heart; and to quiet my very active mind. In essence, I came there to feel good. So why, after less than forty eight hours there, did I feel like shit?
       As our instructor put it, and I’m paraphrasing, “When you truly set an intention to be something, then slow down and quiet your distractions and really pay attention, you will see, in sharp detail, what’s not something. So if your intention is to be happy, you will see, in 3D, where you are not happy.” Which is probably why most people don’t do this stuff. Because when you experience that, it’s painful. And depressing. And difficult. And not what I bloody signed up for.
       I had originally signed up for a course called “Whole Being”. But after two sessions, by late Monday morning, something didn’t feel right. This course was interesting, but I noticed that I was anxious, having trouble focusing, and felt I was in the wrong place. Was this just my over-analytical, critical mind working overtime? Or was my body trying to tell me something?
       On my way to lunch that Monday, I walked right by the room where another course I had considered taking was being held. A course called “Still Small Voice Within”, which was about meditation, focusing, and developing intuition. It was actually the second time I had walked right by that room. The first time, the night before, I looked inside and felt something special going on. There was an energy coming from the circle of people gathered around the instructor. It looked and felt like powerful medicine was happening there. Now, the second time I walked by, the room was empty, save for the instructor. So I took a chance, walked up to him, introduced myself, and asked him what the course was about.
       He started to tell me, and within less than thirty seconds, I knew this was where I belonged. I felt it inside. Plus, the guy had a presence, an energy, a way of being, that I wanted more of. So I asked him if I could join the class after missing the first two sessions. He said yes. I felt something settle inside of me. I felt like I had just landed where I belonged. Then I went to the front desk and took the necessary steps to make my switch “official”.
       By the way, the instructor I had just connected with was a guy named Jonathan Foust. I called hime “Michael” for the first three or four times we interacted. He never corrected me, which itself tells me about the ease of being this man has. Later, I figured out why I thought his name was Michael. Weeks ago, when I was planning my trip, I considered taking his course. There was a picture of him online in the course description. He reminded me of Michael Schenker, one of the original guitar players for The Scorpions, and leader of The Michael Schenker group. So my mind made that connection, and he became, unconsciously, “Michael” to me, even though his name was clearly printed under his picture. A good little example of how our mind can screw things up.
       So now, I’m in the place I chose to be in, in the course I need to be in, with the people I need to be with. And I’m all out of sorts, with my insides doing cartwheels. What the fuck?
       Please stay with me as I take us deeper into my experience at Kripalu.

©2103 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart, and Red F Publishing. All rights reserved.

Felt Sense Prayer

Whilst at Kripalu, our workshop was treated to this reading....

I am the pain in your head, the knot in your stomach, the unspoken grief in your smile.
I am your high blood sugar, your elevated blood pressure, your fear of challenge, your lack of trust.
I am your hot flashes, your cold hands and feet, your agitation and your fatigue.
I am your shortness of breath, your fragile low back, the cramp in you r neck, the despair in your sigh.
I am the pressure on your heart, the pain down your arm, your bloated abdomen, your constant hunger.
I am where you hurt, the fear that persists, your sadness of dreams unfulfilled.
I am your symptoms, the causes of your concern, the signs of imbalance, your condition of dis-ease.
 
You tend to disown me, suppress me, ignore me, inflate me, coddle me, condemn me.
I am not coming forth for myself as I am not separate from all that is you.
I come to garner your attention, to enjoin your embrace so I can reveal my secrets.
I have only your best interests at heart as I seek health and wholeness by simply announcing myself.
 
You usually want me to go away immediately, to disappear, to sleek back into obscurity.
You mostly are irritated or frightened and many times shocked by my arrival.
From this stance you medicate in order to eradicate me.
 Ignoring me, not exploring me, is your preferred response.
More times than not I am only the most recent notes of a long symphony, the most evident branches of roots that have been challenged for seasons.
 
So I implore you, I am a messenger with good news, as disturbing as I can be at times.
I am wanting to guide you back to those tender places in yourself,
the place where you can hold yourself with compassion and honesty.
If you look beyond my appearance you may find that I am a voice from your soul.
Calling to you from places deep within that seek your conscious alignment.
 
I may ask you to alter your diet, get more sleep, exercise regularly, breathe more consciously.
I might encourage you to see a vaster reality and worry less about the day to day fluctuations of life.
I may ask you to explore the bonds and the wounds of your relationships.
I may remind you to be more generous and expansive or to attend to protecting your heart from insult.
I might have you laugh more, spend more time in nature, eat when you are hungry and less  when pained or bored, spend time every day, if only for  a few minutes, being still.
 
Wherever I lead you, my hope is that you will realize that success will not be measured by my eradication, but by the shift in the internal landscape from which I emerge.
 
I am your friend, not your enemy.  I have no desire to bring pain and suffering into your life.
I am simply tugging at your sleeve, too long immune to gentle nudges.
I desire for you to allow me to speak to you in a way that enlivens your higher instincts for self care.
My charge is to energize you to listen to me with the sensitive ear and heart
of a mother attending to her precious baby.
 
You are a being so vast, so complex, with amazing capacities for self-regulation and healing.
Let me be one of the harbingers that lead you to the mysterious core of your being
where insight and wisdom are naturally available when called upon with a sincere heart.

Our instructor, Jonathan Foust, was amazing. I recommend you check out his website, podcast, and any of his material available on iTunes. I'm proviving his link below.

http://jonathanfoust.com

A Virgin of Kripalu

       Upon arriving at the Kripalu Center for Yoga And Health, the first thing I noticed was all the....
       Women.
       For a few minutes, I experienced the sensation of magically exiting current time, space, and reality, and becoming the male lead in one of those formulaic teenager flicks; where the protagonist somehow finds himself the only dude at summer cheerleading camp. Except instead of cheerleader uniforms, the eye candy ocean of healthy, attractive women are clad in tight, sexy, spandex yoga wear. The plot thickens as he realizes that all the women are barefoot. And he has a foot fetish.
       After silently mumbling “Be still my beating heart” a few dozen times, I pulled myself together. And, in truth, the first thing I noticed upon entering Kripalu was not the women; that just made for a good opening line. In fact, the first thing that struck me on my arrival was the entrance to the place itself: Two stone pillars, with soft-light lanterns atop them, on either side of a wide driveway. The pillars were offset behind a rock with a sign on top of it that said “Kripalu”, and sat in front of what appeared to be an endless row of tall leafy trees that disappeared into tranquility; all of that surrounded by a sea of more trees and strikingly green grass. It was a veritable explosion of greenness. I saw the entrance from the road, which itself was a winding, idyllic, tree lined stretch of pavement right out of Yankee magazine. Kripalu looked like the entrance to heaven.
       Once entering, I drove as slow as I could without backing up, because I didn’t want to miss anything (Okay, so the women were actually the third thing I noticed. My opening line was completely fraudulent. Ah, the freedom of creative license.). As the road wound through the natural yet manicured grounds, I felt myself becoming literally engulfed in the atmosphere of the place; as though the branches of the trees that overhung the driveway were gently and welcomingly hugging me into some beautiful, special, and mysterious energy. Flowers, plants, rocks, trees, grass, fields, and stone walls all blended harmoniously, creating a most inviting landscape that I experienced as a perfect balance between wild naturalism and well conceived yet organic order. I though to myself that some divine individual with a lifetime of experience in both Buddhist Meditation and Landscape Architecture must have designed the place.
       Noticing the women didn’t happen until I actually got to the main building a few minutes later. Needles to say (but I’ll say it anyway, because if I didn’t, I’d have to go back and change the line “Needless to say”, which I don’t want to, because I like how it sounds), my first few minutes at Kripalu were extraordinarily memorable.
       Please come back to read more of my incredible experience, at this most incredible of places, in upcoming posts.

©2013 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart, and Red F Publishing. All rights reserved.

I'm With You, Boys

“I want freedom for the full expression of my personality.”
                                      - Mahatma Gandhi


“Don’t be too timid or squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the better.”
                                       - Ralph Waldo Emerson


       These two gentlemen put it rather well. In Clintology parlance, it’s living life in vivid technicolor, however that shows up according to the very unique and individual characteristics of your own Television Of Self. And it’s about taking risks, lots of them, as often as possible, and being with the joy, and the discomfort, and the unknowing, and the juice of those risks; learning and growing and expanding and transforming all the while.

Demon T

       Whilst meditating in a cave, a woman was visited by three of her oldest and most powerful demons. As her demons whirled and cavorted around her, taunting, chiding, and attempting to distract her, she kept on meditating. Annoyed because the woman was not reacting to them, her demons intensified their efforts, getting louder and more vicious; yelling and screaming and throwing all sorts of harmful words at her. Still, the woman would not engage them.
       When she was done meditating, she started a fire. The demons became enraged, throwing the worst they could muster at her. They howled horribly hurtful words, called her names, and threw venomously barbed insults. They dug up her most painful wounds. In horrid and vivid detail, they assaulted her with stories of her biggest and most consequential failures. The demons also began causing real physical chaos; tipping over chairs, spitting on the floor, and throwing her possessions all over the cave. Sill, the woman went about her business, not reacting. In fact, she put a tea kettle on the fire and began to boil water.
       Finally, exhausted and frustrated, the demons gave up. They asked her “What the fuck is going on? We are your greatest fears! Your deepest woes! Your worst nightmares! Why aren’t you reacting to us like you usually do?” The woman said, “Well, you’re here now. You’ve been here before. And you’re probably going to be around me the rest of my life. I thought it’s about time we should sit and have some tea together.”
       This week, I’m at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health, in Stockbridge, Massachusetts.
       Can you tell?


©2013 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart, and Red F Publishing. All rights reserved.

Update on Monday, July 29, 2013 at 4:31PM by Clint Piatelli

I thought this would have been clear, but apparently it was not: I didn't create this story. I just retold it, in my own words. It's an ancient Hindu, Buddhist, or otherwise enlightened philosophy's tale of making friends with your demons instead of trying to get rid of them or fighting with them.