Bring Your Goddess. Bring Your God.

Sexuality fascinates me. When I start promoting my brand, helping individuals and couples create better sex lives will be one of my brand's components. Specifically, assisting others get to what turns them on, drives them wild, brings them closer, and creates more connection; then assisting them in manifesting that. I want people to bring more passion, fire, intensity, playfulness, intimacy, sense of adventure, and love, to their intimate relationships. I've been doing that for years with myself and my lovers. And the results have been, well, damn fuckin' good.

Years ago, I stopped tying to figure out what's behind the cornucopia of my sexual turn-ons. One of my favorite questions is “Why?”. The question of “Why" leads to great understanding. And I'm big on understanding. I want to understand what I'm into. I want to understand you. I kinda want to understand everything; I'm insatiably curious. On a deeper level, understanding is a path for connection to whatever, or whoever, I want to know better. Why do stars explode? Why did T-Rex have such puny forearms? Why did you do that?

Sometimes, however, "Why" gets in the way. For example, as much as I love to dissect music, I don't ask myself why I love or hate a song. I may really dig the drum beat, the guitar lick, the bass run, the way the tune was mixed. From a technical standpoint, I enjoy picking music apart. But falling in love with a song is an emotional response. A tune either hits me in the heart or it doesn't. I leave it at that.

One of most valuable lessons I've learned is that, if you each put the other person first in the bedroom, you're going to create mad fireworks. Instead of focusing on your own pleasure, focus on your partner's. I get off just as much, usually more, knowing that she's feeling my love and lovin' what I'm doing for her. If you both do that for each other, you're taking a big step in co-creating an explosive sex life. If you both know what really turns you on, are comfortable with it, and can share it with your lover, you're nourishing fertile ground for fantastic love making. And, you're building your mutual temple for sexual discovery and sexual empowerment. 

It all starts with intimately knowing yourself, sharing that, and wanting to know your partner the same way. Both of you have to Bring It. Or else it's the sound of one hand clapping. And that just doesn't do it. 

An appreciation for beauty is vital. We can all cultivate an appreciation for beauty, across our entire lives. When you cultivate your appreciation for beauty in nature, for example, you're simultaneously cultivating an appreciation for beauty itself. Your nourishing your love of art, in all it's countless manifestations. When you bring that to your intimate love relationship, you're cultivating an appreciation for yourself, and for your partner. Your lover is beautiful. Tell them that. Often.

As much as I appreciate the beauty of the male body, I'm not sexually attracted to it. But I find the male physique just as aesthetically beautiful as the female physique. I just don't want to hop in bed with one. 

The female form...Sweet Mama!...is a breathtaking creation of artistic elegance and grace. I love everything about a woman's body. When I'm with a woman, I pay attention to all of her. Including what's inside. I could write indefinitely about what I love about a woman's heart and mind. There's so much beautiful happening within. But for this writing, I'm sticking with the physical. It's a totally incomplete picture, I know, but roll with me here. I've only got so much of your time.

Her hair. Her eyes. Her forehead. Her ears. Her cheeks. Her lips. Her mouth. Her tongue. The nape of her neck. The whole of her neck. Her shoulders and arms. The smoothness of her back. Her hands and fingers. Her skin. Her sides, between her stomach and the small of her back (usually incredibly sensitive). Her tummy. The slopes of soft flesh just below and on either side of her navel, running down to her happy trail. The curve of her hips. Her juicy bum. The sweep of her back. Her thighs. Her calves. Her legs. Her feet. Her toes. The way she smells. The way she tastes. The way she sounds. The way she feels. The sound of her voice. The way she looks at me. Her prana. I could go on and on...

The first step in all of this is opening your heart. If our heart's aren't open, it hinders our appreciation of beauty, and it blocks intimacy. If it's closed, opening the heart up is a process, so give it time. And do the work. It doesn't happen all by itself. Sometimes, our heart explodes when we have a life event that throws gasoline on the smoldering fire that is our heart. That has happened to me a few times. But even after that, the fire has to be fed. The work (and the play) have to be done. The flame will dwindle if it's not stoked.

Bring your Goddess. Bring your God. Bring your passionate, sexy, on fire, most loving being. Integrate your most primal self with your highest self.

Bring It All to the bedroom (and anywhere else you get it on). And then enjoy the fireworks.

©2017 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart LLC, and Red F Publishing. All rights reserved.

Play The Way You Love. Love The Way You Play.

       When I worked at Guitar Center in the drum department, I came across a lot of drummers who had, years ago, stopped playing. Just as bad, they had sold their kits. Now, they were in the market for new equipment. From a strictly selfish standpoint, that was okay with me, because I loved helping them choose new gear, and it put money in my pocket. But from a humane perspective, it made me sad that they had stopped playing music, and even taken it so far as having gotten rid of their tools. I could feel the pain of that.
       As a musician, it’s important to keep playing, no matter what. And not just any music, but the music that stirs your soul. At least some of the time. Why? Because that’s why you started playing in the first place (I mean, after you realized that playing in a band was a way to meet girls….or boys). Something long ago got stirred in you, and you discovered that it gave you something you couldn’t get anywhere else. You brought to life an energy within. If you stop playing, or if you stop playing the music that moves you, that energy inside diminishes. It can even die.
       The good news is, you get to play Dr. Frankenstein any time you want. You get to raise the dead. You get to bring that unique energy within back to life, no matter how long it’s been dead. And you don’t have to rob any graves to do it (but if you play an electric instrument, you do get to fuck around with electricity, just like Dr. Frankenstein did). All you’ve got to do is start playing again. And start playing music that moves you.   
       I’m not sure if it’s worse to play music you don’t like, or worse to just stop playing. But I do know that going through the motions playing music is like going through the motions when you’re having sex. In the long run, it can actually make it worse.
       Think about it. If you have sex, without passion, without fire, without feeling, for long periods of time, what happens to your interest, to your desire, to your fire, for sex? It evaporates, slowly but surely. Now, what if you don’t have sex for a long period of time? That void actually creates desire. And that desire can spur you to action to seek what you want. As opposed to just being on auto pilot, which usually has the opposite effect.
       Playing music is the same way. Because it’s from deep inside. You can’t fool your heart. At least not for long. If you keep trying to kid yourself at that level, you get soul rebellion.
       Whatever you like to play, at whatever age, play it. Find a way and play it. Don’t waste time playing shit you don’t like. Don’t waste time jerking off. I don’t care how old you are. If punk or metal or disco does it for you, find people who are into it too and play it. Nobody but you and your band has to hear it (although I also strongly urge you to perform live, but that’s another blog). But you need to play it. And when you play it, you need to bring it.
       Play the music you love the way you make love. Make love the way you play music you love. Find your flame, stoke it, and let it burn. Play and fuck with passion, with fire, with reckless abandonment, with red hot love. Throw all of yourself into it. At once harness, and surrender to, its beautiful power.   

Photography courtesy of Pedro Blanco Photography

©2014 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart LLC, and Red F Publishing. All rights reserved.

Linebackers Drummers And Love (part 2)

 To get more from this writing, please read part 1, Linebackers Drummer and Love     

       Try this at home, kids. Put on a great guitar solo. Eddie Van Halen is my favorite. He’s amazing to listen to. Admire the virtuosity, the skill, the speed, the melodic forays, the originality, the feeling in his soloing. But try dancing to it. Try banging your head to it. Try moving to it. Good luck.
       Now, put on a great drum solo. And when I say great, I don’t mean one where a dude just wows you with his speed and technical ability. I’m talking about a solo where the drummer lays something down; like a killer groove that your body feels compelled to move to. Where you can’t help but shake and shiver and bounce. Now tell me, which solo evokes something more primal? Which solo packs more of an emotional wallop? It could be that I’m totally biased, because I’m a drummer. But I don’t think so. I’ve seen this for myself a million and one times. At gigs. At concerts. And in my own home.      
       The whole point is emotional content. Now again, I’m talking in the context of rock music and football (which actually have a lot in common). I’m not talking about a solo performer playing an acoustic guitar and singing. There can be shitloads of emotional content in that. But that type of performance has got very little in common with football. If I’m looking for high energy, body moving, balls to the wall feeling, I look to rock music. And football.    
        In football, a linebacker who nails somebody so hard they see stars is equivalent to a rock song that makes you want to bang your head, shake your booty, or fuck your girlfriend. And the root of that energy in song form is the drummer.
        A linebacker who attacks a ball carrier is like a man grabbing his woman, throwing her on the bed, and positively ravishing her. At least metaphorically (I’m not referring to imposing your will against a person who wants something you don’t. I’m referring to consensual adults). Again, it’s about setting the emotional tone. It’s about bringing a certain energy to something that creates real fire. This particular fire is aggressive. Passionate. Powerful. And beautiful. It really is. All true fire is.
       One of my goals moving forward is to assist people, both men and women, in BRINGING IT more to their lives. To their loves. There is a beautiful, primal, animalistic, passionate, fiery fury that is missing from a lot of lives out there. From a lot of lovemaking out there. From a lot of relationships out there. Both men and women are responsible. I get that many of us are afraid to let ourselves go. But we can all learn a lot from drummers and from linebackers. Because both breeds know how to bring a passion and a fury and a primal force and a love to what they do. Both breeds know how to bring it.
       Don’t you want to see that in a drummer? Don’t you want to see that in a band? Don’t you want to see that in your lover?
    Yeah. I thought so.

©2104 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart LLC, and Red F Publishing. All rights reserved.

Linebackers Drummers And Love

       Football. I love the game. The strategy. The physicality. The break downs and the analysis. Out thinking your adversary. The emotional power of the game. Mano a Mano. The nature of the sport reeks of masculinity. Which is one big reason guys love it. And also why a large number of women dig it too.
       At some point, I became more drawn to defense than to offense (special teams never did jack for me). As is my nature, I want to better understand that switch in preference. Because it could say something about me and about my development. Maybe not a lot, but you never know until you start digging. And I love to dig. When you dig, you usually discover. When you discover, you potentially become aware. And that awareness opens up the possibility for growth and transformation and a whole host of other goodies. All of that often starts from a little digging.
       Digging by myself is great, but I love to dig with other people too. I should have a bumper sticker that reads “Digs Well With Others”; meaning I will go on a deep dive with anybody who thirsts for self discovery and hence self creation. I believe the two are intertwined. But that is another topic altogether, and one I will tackle some other time. Back to football.
       At the Boston College Graduate School of Management, my Strategic Management professor, Hassell McClellan (one of my favorite teachers of all time) told me something that I’ll never forget. He knew I was a drummer, and one day he imposed this particular wisdom on me. He said, “There are two types of football players. There are football players…..and there are linebackers. There are two types of musicians. There are musicians….and there are drummers.” I got it. Immediately.
       Linebackers are animals. And I mean that in the best sense of the word. The best ones are aggressive, fierce, predatory. They play with a passion and an intensity that borders on the maniacal. They bring a barely controlled reckless abandonment to their play. Traditionally, more than any other position, on either side of the ball, linebackers set the emotional tone of the game.  
       Have you ever seen a great drummer? Tell me that the aforementioned description of linebackers doesn’t also apply to the best drummers. At least the best rock drummers, who are the ones I am most familiar with, and with whom I most identify.
       Twenty five years ago, Professor McClellan’s insight gave me a little window into myself. I remember processing that statement and examining my own relationship to football. And to drumming. And to myself.
       The thought of running with a football over, through, or around defenders excites me. But I have to say, sticking a ball carrier so hard that they lose their helmet….well that excites me even more. Why? Because, with regards to emotional tone in football, a thunderous hit means more to me than a touchdown. Let me explain.
       Setting the emotional tone, and playing with a fury and a passion that boils the blood, is more central to the game of football than scoring. Scoring is the objective. Scoring is the goal. But I’ve always been more of a process kind of guy. For me, the process is often where the juice is. A goal without a juicy process, or at least a part of the process, that I can sink my teeth into, is much harder for me to buy into. I am more likely to undergo a juicy process with a sketchy goal than I am to buy into a juicy goal with a sketchy process. Some people are just the opposite. Both preferences have their pros and cons. It’s best when one can manage that balance and be able to undergo both worthwhile goals and worthwhile processes regardless. I’ve become better at that. But I digress.
       Like linebackers in football, drummers in rock music set the emotional tone. The drummer must, repeat, must, play with an intensity and a ferocity and a passion, or the band will never, repeat, never, kick ass. If your drummer don’t bring it, the rest of the band can be firing on all cylinders, but you won’t be moving any tails. Looking at it from the other side, your bass player, your guitar player, even your lead singer, can mail it in. But if your drummer is still bringing it, your band still has a chance to move some booty (it's obviously way better when everyone is bringing it). The drummer has to set an energetic tone, an emotional tone, like linebackers, that the rest of the band (or team) connects to and builds on.
       I’ll get more into this in part two, where I’ll connect all this to life in general and to intimate relationships. Please join me for that.

    
©2014 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart LLC, and Red F Publishing. All rights reserved.

Clinterview: Man vs. Emotion (part 8)

The final intallment in my interview with Professor Ginny Judge Horan. Parts one through seven can be found in the Video Blog section of my archives.