Riding Your Lover's Edge

There's a sexual technique known as "Edging" (also known as "Surfing"). Edging involves maintaining a very high state of sexual arousal for an extended period of time without achieving orgasm. You get close to coming, but don't, and you stay there, as long as you can. Or as long as you can't. When you willingly and consensually give control of your orgasm to your partner, it ain't up to you. Which brings me to the most heart popping way to experience edging. 

Known as "Tie and Tease", the practice involves one partner being bound and relinquishing control of their orgasm to their lover. In this form of erotic denial, the partner in control (the "top") carefully manipulates speed, pressure, and intensity to keep their helpless lover (the "bottom") deliciously close to orgasm for a long period of time. When the bottom is just about to climax, the top reduces the level of stimulation just enough (or just plain stops,) at just the right moment, to deny orgasm. If this process is repeated, over and over again, the bottom experiences an overwhelming urge to come. When, finally, the top allows their partner their sweet release, it is far more intense and pleasurable than a "normal" climax (if any climax can ever be described as such). It is in fact, an explosion. I call it The Hydrogen Bomb of Orgasms.

From experience, I can tell you, with complete confidence, that this is one steamy, hot as fuck way to make love. It's both physically and psychologically extremely intense. The strong level of sexual frustration in being denied orgasm is exponentially intensified by the helplessness of being bound. Coming is, from a human mechanics standpoint, a process of tension and release. Well, like any physical system, the more tension you create, the more powerful the release. And there is no better way I know of to create near unbearable tension than Tie and Tease. 

For the lover being denied orgasm, this technique can induce a near euphoric state, also known as "Flying". And it can even alter one's perceived consciousness; in a way, like meditation. Tie & Tease with extended erotic denial is thus sexual mediation. Good Gravy. What a beautifully powerful combination. 

Mind-blowing-conscious-altering-orgasm aside, the truly wonderful perk of this sexual play is that it builds intimacy, trust, love, and connection. The ability to get your lover that close to orgasm, and knowing exactly when to deny it, takes practice. It takes time. It takes focus and attention. It takes communication. It takes care and love. You have to get to know your partner extremely well. You have to be able to read them. You have to be fully engaged and present. Call it Fully Mindful Sex. 

The benefits of this practice start long before the actual act. Because it's important to discus this scenario first. This often takes couples out of their comfort zone, which is where growth usually happens. Even if it doesn't take a couple out of their comfort zone, talking about what happens in the bedroom fosters communication and intimacy. And it also builds anticipation. And anticipation is a potent aphrodisiac. 

Speaking of anticipation, if I've wetted your appetite for more, join me for part two. And maybe pass this post onto your lover if you want to try it. Send them a link to this post to wet their appetite. And maybe even their underwear. If they wear any.

©2017 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHear LLC, and Red F Publishing. All rights reserved.