Great Sex

       Most coupes agree that a healthy sex life is an important part of an intimate relationship. Yet the amount of time and effort that most couples devote to creating that healthy sex life is minimal. The fallacy is that a great sex life just happens. That it’s either there or it isn’t.
       Bullshit.
       Maybe in the beginning of a relationship, when it’s running on pure sexual adrenaline, newness, and lustful excitement, not much needs to be done to create explosively great sex. But eventually, you'll both have to commit energy and effort to keep it that way.
       Individually and as a couple, you create your great sex life. It doesn’t create you.  
       To me, this is Good News. Because if I know my partner and I are responsible for creating great sex, then the quality of our sex life isn’t at the whim of the mysterious Love God of Sexual Chemistry. Chemistry is important. And somewhat mysterious. In one respect, it’s there or it isn’t. I’m assuming it’s already there. If you’re having good sex in the beginning of a relationship, then it’s there. The challenge becomes maintaining great sex. Actually, my challenge is even more ambitious: ramping it up.
       Because I work with my partner to create a more intense, deeper, more adventurous and exciting sex life, my experience is that my sex life with my lover actually gets better the longer we are together. The newness may be gone, but you can actually create new....newness....by exploring as yet unexplored sexual avenues. You can create excitement by pushing the sexual envelope. This means embracing a new paradigm, which I’ve alluded to in other posts, most recently: Anatomy Of A Ready To Go Bedroom, Clinterview On Sex, Flames Not Games, Ride The Lightning, and Fifty Thousand Shades of Clint.
       This paradigm frames our sex life as an erotic adventure. It’s not unlike how we can choose to look at, for example, our career, or our recreational activities, or our spirituality, or our emotional life. We can look at those areas of our lives as opportunities yet realized, adventures not yet endeavored, mountains not yet climbed, worlds waiting to be explored.
       And the world of human sexuality, indeed your own sexuality, is vast, and beautiful, and expansive, and there is always more to learn and discover and explore. If you don’t know that, I’m here to tell you it’s true. And I’m here to help you dive into that truth.
       With any path in your life, as you continue down it, you continually have the opportunity to discover more about yourself, to invent yourself, to create new possibilities and new experiences, and continually add richness and depth to your life on that path. Whether that’s your career path, your spiritual path, or your personal growth path. Your sexual path can be the same type of journey.
       That isn’t the way most of us think about our sex life, but it could be. It’s how I’ve looked at my sex life for almost fifteen years. And I’ve had a better sex life over the last fifteen years than I did in my first fifteen. I'm forty-nine, and I’m very excited and optimistic about my future.     
       At some point, you’ve both got to take responsibility for what you mutually create (or don’t) in the bedroom. But again, this is The Good News. Because we get to make choices. We get to create what we want. And that is fuckin’ exciting....
       I know how to do that. So I’m here to help you create great sex. In Part Two.

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