"In a word, Clint. Poetry."

        I’m trying like hell to decide what to post. I’m stuck in a place right now where the juices aren’t flowing very well. There’s plenty inside of me, but none of it’s coming out the way I want it to; like a big, juicy mango of thoughts and feelings with all the succulent nectar trapped inside.
        In times like these, I’ve found it best not to force anything. But I want to keep adding fresh content as often as possible, because I know that’s a key ingredient to a good blog. So what do I do?
        Suddenly, it hits me. Long forgotten words spoken by my sophomore English teacher at Villanova, Mr. Mitchell. I’ve long forgotten my question, but I’ll never forget his answer. “In a word, Clint. Poetry.” Of course. Poetry.
        Through the years, I’ve written lots of poetry. Most of it, nobody’s ever read. It represents some of my most passionate writing, but it also shows me at my most vulnerable. So I’ve resisted sharing it.
        But if I’m not so concerned about being vulnerable anymore, then the only thing stopping me is fear. Fear that nobody will like it. Fear that I’ll look like a sissy. Fear of...whatever. Well fuck the fear. Just like pain, the only way out is through.


THINGS SHE NEVER KNEW...

I used to watch her sleep
And I envied how peaceful she looked
I wanted to wake her and say "I see you"
But didn't want to disturb the place she found so soft

When she would snuggle next to me
And place her beautiful warm body into mine
I would sink into a peace that I could not hold onto
Unless she was lying next to me
A peace that I could feel
But could not touch
Unless I was touching her

Whenever she left, I would run upstairs and watch her car leave my driveway
My heart would sink as I watched her drive away
And then I would do anything not to feel that pain

I wanted to run towards love
I wanted to run towards her
But I just stayed where I was
Yearning for more
But unable to risk asking

So many things she wanted
And needed
I wanted
I needed
But I could not bring myself to tell her
Because I was afraid to feel what I already knew
I was in love with her
And that was something I could not be

Because being in love with her meant pain
And heartache
And that I could not bare
I had already suffered more heartache and pain than I knew possible
To love her meant to lose her
I could not lose her
For I had already lost more than I knew I had
So I could not be in love with her
But I already was...

©2009 Clint Piatelli. All Rights (and a poetry book of Wrongs) reserved.

Comments

[Kim]

That was beautiful. Just . . . breathtakingly . . . beautiful.

[Clint Piatelli]

From the bottom of my heart Kim...Thank You. Knowing that there are readers like you who are moved by my writing is honestly one of the main reasons I do this. More than anything, I want to touch people, make a difference, impact people's lives, and contribute something, big or small. Your support is positively priceless.

Clint