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    « Addicted To The Day Dream | Main | Re-Inhibitor »

    Why Does A Dog Lick His Balls?

           I wanted to do a post today for the same reason that a dog licks his balls; because he can. After being unable to post for so long, I have a yearning to do so, simply for the sake of doing it. In the process, I’ll hopefully say something that you can relate to. If not, you’ll never see this, ball licking ability or not...
           For the past few months, as in this very moment, I’m having trouble executing the manifesto of this website. That is, I’m experiencing lots of trouble sharing what’s really going on inside of me, on the very deepest of levels. By owning that, here and now, I suppose I’m trying to at least share something real - my struggle - even though I’m not coming out and saying what it is. Admitting that you’re in turmoil within yourself is at least a step in the right direction.
           In a way, this feels like a cop out. Telling you that something big is up, but not telling you what. But it’s the best I can do right now.
           I’m not closed down, but I’m not terribly open either. I’m kind of in this murky soup of emotion. One thing is for certain, however, and I know that it holds the key to my release. I’m feeling lots of shame. Tons of it. I even feel shame about feeling shame. As long as I’m here, I’m lost. Trapped in a prison of my own design.
           My hope is that through sharing this here, I can touch a place in you that feels the same way. A place where you want to share what’s going on, because you know it will help. A place where your burning desire to heal comes up head on against the most formidable fear and shame you can imagine. A place you have to get past, but can’t see how.
           I’ve been here before. So have you. We’ll get through it.  

    Reader Comments (4)

    I'm glad you are back Clint.
    Stay strong - I know you can get through this - we're here for you.

    October 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKim

    He's baaaaack! Yay!
    Acknowledgement is half the battle. Please try not to judge yourself too harshly. It 'tis what it 'tis, Clint Thanks for sharing as much as you can. I'm holding nonjudgmental space for you... and sending a hug.

    October 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternnasille

    nnasille and Kim,
    Thank you so much for your support. I'm finding it hard to get rolling again, but I'm giving it time to get the momentum happening again. Please keep reading and responding, and thanx again for your priceless feedback.


    November 3, 2009 | Registered CommenterClint Piatelli

    however you may get rid of it, just keep on moving on and stay strong.

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