I Hurt, Therefore I Am (part 1)

Note: I wanted to post something again today, just to produce some momentum for my blogging. This piece is still a work in process, but I like the beginning, so I’m posting it as a sort of “teaser”. I hope you’ll come with me on this.

       Just as indifference, not hate, is the opposite of love, so to is numbness, not pain, the opposite of joy. If I am in pain, at least I am feeling. At least I am connected, to something. Being numb is like drifting alone in a void; untethered to anything or anybody. It is absolute disconnection from life.
       Experiencing that sort of life sucking numbness often enough has lead me to know that I would rather feel pain than nothing. That is not so profound, but it’s implications are. Because I can become addicted to pain. As a way of staying connected to life, I sometimes turn to pain like a junkie turns to crack. When joy and love feel fleeting and ethereal, pain is as solid as a rock. And just as easy to score.