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    She Was My Music

            Music ignites some mystical, sacred flame inside of me; something that nothing else could spark. More like a force of nature, music has been able to access an energy within me that other wise could not be liberated.
           For most of my life, the right song touches a place in me that nothing else could touch. Music reaches me at a depth of being that is completely mysterious, completely unknowable, and yet, as familiar to me as my own face.
           Only music could do all of that for me.
           Until I met a woman who could do all of that for me, too.
           Since I hit my mid-thirties, I had been unconsciously seeking a woman who could reach that sacred part of me previously available only to music. I didn’t know it, but what I was looking for was a woman who could create the same feeling in me as my most beloved songs. I was looking for a woman who’s Song was as beautiful and magical and evocative to me as my favorite music; a woman who’s own song stirred my very soul. I wanted a woman who could somehow release all of that divine passion, love, awe, sense of beauty, and magic, that until then could only be accessed by the songs I most cherished.
           And what do you know. I found that woman. Without even looking. Without even knowing I was looking.
           So you can imagine how hard it was for me to have to let her go.
           It doesn’t really feel like I’m letting go of a person. It’s almost like letting go of the most powerful, beautiful, emotionally evocative song of my life. It’s almost like letting go of music itself. Which seems unfathomable.
           What I found in this woman was my favorite song, in human form; in sweet, delicious, tactile, human form. I had found my human incarnation of music. I had found the female manifestation of music itself. And I never saw it coming.
           And, just like the music that touches me so deeply, some of how she moved me I can explain, and some of it I can’t. Some of it is simply beyond the realm of understanding or logic. Some of it is just the beautiful unknown, the sublime divine, the province of some realm beyond. Some of it is just magic. Some of it just is. True Love.  
           It wasn’t anything specific she did. It wasn’t anything about her in particular. It was just her. Something about her. Anymore than I can explain exactly what it is about a song that brings me to a different place inside, I can't tell you exactly what it was about her that did the same thing. Just being with her was like having one of my favorite songs playing in my head, in my heart, in my whole body, all the time.    
           Ironic. A few months ago, I wrote a poem called “She’s Your Favorite Song”.
           Well. She was mine. 

    ©2014 Clint Piatelli, MuscleHeart LLC, and Red F Publishing. All rights reserved.

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